Using Comparison for Good
Illustration by Jessica Lemmon
We all compare ourselves to others. It seems to be ingrained into our human DNA. But what if we’re misusing it?
Using comparison for good is possible…if we retrain our minds.
Comparison is supposed to help us learn our preferences. Do we like mayo or mustard on our sandwiches? Do we enjoy the color green or the color blue more? Without contrast in life, everything would be the same, and then how would we ever know what we like?
So when we find ourselves in observation of a thing we don’t like, what should we do?
Using it as a measuring tape from which we judge ourselves seems to be a go-to, but definitely isn’t the best practice. If your neighbor drives by in her new Beemer and your car broke down this morning, you might instantly feel jealousy or envy. So what do you do with that?
This is where it’s easy to be stuck. We notice that comparison is an automatic reaction, and then get frustrated with ourselves because we don’t how to stop comparing ourselves to others.
In the car example, you notice the BMW, admire the sun glinting off its shiny paint job. In that moment you feel one emotion very clearly: want. Or perhaps, more accurately: jealousy. The truth is you would love to have a brand new car. That truth leads to you comparing your current car with the shiny BMW. Your car is old. It’s not running well.
You may start applying judgment to what you’re observing if you’re not careful. That may sound something like: “Why don’t I have nice things? How come everyone around me gets rewarded and while more things go wrong in my life?”
Now more thoughts that are similar are magnetizing themselves to those. (Hello, Law of Attraction), which means those feelings can lead to complaining out loud to someone…or many someones. Before you know it, you hate your car, resent your neighbor, and you are bemoaning how hard your life has become.
You’re not even aware of what you would prefer, because you’re so far from the frequency of love. You’re circling the observation drain of what you dislike. And guess what? You created all of it with your current belief system.
Now let’s try something different using the same example. You notice the BMW, you feel that ping of want. You would love a brand new car. Rather than move into comparison, what if you moved into gratitude?
Comparison to gratitude is a powerful energetic shift.
“Thank you, Universe (or God, if that makes you more comfortable), for showing me what I want.” You understand that ping of want in your belly actually is a signal that a shiny new car is also meant for you. (Yes, also. We have to release the idea of scarcity as it’s our most persistent illusion on this planet.)
The ping of want is there for a reason. Did you know that there are people who wouldn’t think twice about wanting a BMW? They’d never question it. They’d just think, “I’m going to get me one of those” and then they would. And, get this… There are even people who don’t like BMWs. (Gasp!) Those people never have the ping that you had. Which means that the contrast of “I see it and I don’t have it” is actually a love letter from the Universe to you!
So, here’s what you do:
You turn your attention to your current car that’s not running.
You understand that contrast is clarity, and both are appearing for your benefit.
You use this moment to be grateful for your current car, and to remind yourself that it’s all going to work out because everything returns to good.
And, while your at it, you let God know that you would love not only for your car to run beautifully, but that you would also love an upgrade to a shiny new BMW.
Now your vibration is set on what you would love instead of what you don’t like. You are aligned manifesting what you want instead of in the original scenario, where you were attracting more of not having nice things. More unfairness. More things going wrong.
This process takes amazing awareness and practice, so don’t be surprised if when you start paying attention to your thoughts they sound, well, overwhelmingly negative.
The vibration you are on isn’t permanent, it’s simply practiced.
Moving out of comparison, out of contrast, out of negativity is as simple as practicing a new vibration: one of love and gratitude. You are always manifesting, either from limited thinking or expansive thinking anyway, so you might as well shift your mindset and think from a place of what you’d love.
Turn jealousy into motivation.
Use comparison as guidance.
Manifest from gratitude.
xo,
Jessica 🍋
PS, If this resonated and you would love more mindset magic, pep talks, behind-the-scenes reflections, and support for your creative journey, I’d love to welcome you inside The Lemmon Society. There’s a whole vibe waiting for you. ✨